A stretched-out heart

Sometimes God brings us into situations that are unexpected and difficult.  Then sometimes He surprises us by providing the strength and abilities to handle far beyond what we believed we could manage.  That's what happened this past week when I agreed to be the lead teacher for a VBS class for kindergartners at our church.

I have taught children (and college students which are sometimes like large children) in various capacities over the past 15 years but have never taught VBS before.  I found myself in charge of a group of about 18 six-year olds for 3.5 hours daily for five days.  Thankfully, I volunteered alongside at least one and usually two other wonderful teachers who made the week possible with their hard work and dedication.  Almost all of the kids in our class were visitors who we had never met before and knew very little about.  We should have known we were in for a busy week when one of the students came to me repeatedly on Monday asking "Have I had good behavior?".


Over the course of the week I was blessed to become better acquainted with this group of kids; some more so than others.  A handful of my little friends were kids that would likely be considered by many teachers as having "behavior problems" of various kinds.  There were troubles with following directions, listening, treating other children kindly, having patience and cooperating. Now I'm not talking about the kind of issues that would naturally occur on a daily basis in the world of every elementary school child. There was a clear difference between the kids that had a natural tendency to willingly do what was asked of them and the few children that seemed to be looking for a way to require extra attention and instruction.  This naturally made for some hiccups in the daily routine but I am blessed to be a part of a church that considers VBS an opportunity not only for fun and learning about Jesus, but also to simply show love to kids that need it.  During the process my fellow leaders and I learned that nearly all of our students who needed extra direction and time from us were also in living situations that are not entirely stable.  Now I am not talking about anything that would require intervention of any kind because that would have been a reason to raise the red flag.  We had some young children living in foster care or in homes affected by divorce or absent parents; children who had more on their plate to deal with than kids who have always lived in a home with both of their parents present and actively involved in their upbringing.

 I have worked with children in less than ideal living situations before, while working as an outdoor education teacher, but never with the intention of simply showing them love even when their behavior makes them difficult to love.  Unexpectedly, and much to my surprise, this week I found that somehow my ordinary little heart had room to truly love all 18 of those sweet little people.  In the midst of tears and tantrums, drama and ugliness, shouting and bouncing and climbing and pig piles; I found the ability to love and enjoy every one of those kids.  This was only possible through the grace and power of God.  I gave hugs, held hands, talked it out, bucked them up, whatever it took.  (Did I mention I'm not much of a touchy-feely kind of person?)  I mess up all the time when it comes to loving my own children but this past week Jesus decided that he would help me to do better with my VBS kids and I am just blown away.

Now I sit here exhausted, but honestly I am kind of sad.  Sad because I know that when it comes to most of those kids, I will likely never see them again and I hope and pray that God will make everything ok for them.  I would love to have them back again (maybe just 1 or 2 at a time!) to ask how they are doing and see their sweet faces; but I don't think that will happen.  So I am left with the feeling that my heart was stretched so big this week that now it is sore, misshapen and rather empty.  And I wonder now who learned more, me or the kids?  God brought home to me the fact that children do the things they do for a reason, even if they don't know exactly why.  When my initial reaction is to stop the problem behavior, maybe I am the one who needs to take a step back and find out what is causing the behavior.  That sometimes following the rules takes a backseat to loving other people.  Most of all this week I learned that our capacity to love others is really only limited by our willingness to try.